Thoughts

Thursday, March 24, 2005

A letter to A Terrorist (Part 1)

Dear Diary,

I can't get the Qatar suicidal car bombing out of my mind!

Every time I see a suicidal bombings or the killing of innocent people anywhere in the world, I feel so sad and it really touches me deeply. I always put myself in the place of the people who are getting hurt and imagine how they really feel. But now for the first time -hopefully the last too- such a tragedy happens in my country, my home! I wasn't in the Doha Player's Theartre for
that matter, but I saw it, and I felt it. People who love this country got hurt, others frightened, and another died! Although I wasn't there, but using my imagination, I can live those hours during which the tragedy happened! I can see it all in my mind. And the more I think about it, the more it hurts and the more mad I get. I can see the actors playing their roles on stage
so enthusiastically. The audience watching the play with so much interest and joy. Then suddenly, a huge blast interrupts the peaceful atmosphere! Fire, smoke, walls collapsing, flinders all around, children crying, parents screaming, everything is a mess and everybody is stunned. I know it must have been more than that.

Thank God that most of the people inside the theatre did not get hurt, but still one soul got wasted in the bombings and few were injured.

A girl who was attending the play saw the guy who commited suicide among the audience sitting in the last row all by himself. She saw fear in his eyes. She knew that there was something wasn't right going on with him. And then her expectaions were right. He was sitting there counting the minutes to get done with his plan!

From what we heard from the media is that this suicidal bomber was unsocial. His co-workers say that they've never seen him smile. He had two kids and a wife, but that didn't change a thing. Obviously he was suffering severe depressing. Did they notice he had his problems? YES. Did they help? NO! And the result? Giving up his faith! Now i'm not talking about this person in specific, but i'm talking about those people who commit suicide in the name of Islam and cleaing Muslim countries of wersterners. They need help, but nobody helps them or even try to help them, so their minds are ready to accept whatever theory that might save them from their misery. They turn to those extremists who help them feel that they belong to this religion or that community and so on. They listen to those extremists who fill their minds with a false understanding of Islam. Fill their heads and hearts with misinterpreted meanings of the Quran. As a result, they devote themselves to whatever those extremists convince them to do, even if it means killing themselves, because hey! it's in the name of Islam for their shorsighted minds!They are misled and misguided.. and the result is destroying themselves and the innocents.


*To Be Continued!

Posted by Faith :: 6:01 AM :: 2 comments

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Wednesday, March 23, 2005

ماهو غريب؟



أبسألك
هو انا استاهلك؟؟
استاهل الدمع .. اللي جرح وجنتك؟
استاهلك؟
استاهل اني اعشقك ؟؟
ابسألك .. عن حالنا .. انتي وانا
ياللي احس انك انا؟؟
حالنا ماهو غريب
انا نكون متأكدين
ان الفراق ماهو بعيد
وبالرغم من جرح السنين
عشقنا دايم يزيد
ماهو غريب؟؟
اني لو مره في همي قسيت
وبكلمه جرحتك
قبل ماتتألمي .. اللي ينزف هو دمي .!
ابسألك .. ماهو غريب؟؟
ماهو غريب؟؟
استاهلك؟
ابسألك .. لو قلت لك
ان الحنان اللي في قلبك
ينبت من الصخر الزهر .. بستاهلك؟
وان النهار الي فـ خدودك
يخلي النسمه عطر .. بستاهلك؟
وان العتاب اللي فـ عيونك
يعلم الناس الشعر.. بستاهلك؟
ابسألك .. ماهو غريب؟
استاهلك؟
ولو قلت لك
اني احبك
اكثر من هموم البشر ..
وكثر الجفا .. وكثر السهر
وانك اقرب من عيوني لنظر .. بستاهلك؟
لو قلت لك..
كل الذي اقدر اقوله
واللي مااقدر اقوله
بستاهلك ..!!
حبيبتي .. بجاوبك
للأسف .. للأسف .. للأسف
مابه احد يستاهلك
مابه احد يستاهلك
مابه احد يستاهلك
***********

(عبدالرحمن بن مساعد)
http://songs.6arab.com/3abady..astahilik.ram


Posted by Faith :: 6:53 AM :: 0 comments

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Monday, March 21, 2005

Happy Mother's Day Mammy :")

Dear Diary,

Some say that Mother's Day is not important because we do not need a special "day" to remind us of our mothers, tell them that we love them and buy them gifts! I say it is. For these days some people hardly see their mothers, and some do not tell their mothers "i love you" every now and then.. Some just never surprise there mothers with a little gift of an item that she likes.. I say we should celebrate this day to do all of these things that we sometimes forget due to our "busy" lives! The least thing you do is to kiss your mother on the forhead and tell her that you love her.. What a great feeling!

Dear mammy,

I just want to thank you for loving me unconditionally. Though there are many times when I disobey you and be such a hardheaded, but your kind heart never gets mad at me. Just by saying "I'm sorry, mammy," you forgive me and smile at me!

When I unintentionally yell at you and tell you to stop treating me like a little girl, I unconciously feel that I am nothing but just a kid and throw myself between your arms and ask you to forgive me! Mama, I am your little girl.

I don't like it when you tell me not to do something that I really want and when I ask "why" you say "you will know when you have your own child!" Though I hate it and tell you that this doesn't make any sense, deep inside I know that you are right.

Although I start crying when you hold me back from going somewhere or doing something, in my heart I feel happy, because I know that you are right.. and I feel safe because I know that you are there to protect me.

When I go out alone or with my friends and you keep calling me on the phone on and on to check on me, and I get mad and tell you to stop it, I don't really mean it! I feel safe and loved when you call me just to see if I am alright. This is why you find me calling you when I don't recieve a call from you for awhile.

I know that you want me to be the prettiest and successful girl ever, and you want all or your friends and family to see me just to tell them "this is my daughter!" just to be proud of me. May Allah help me to grant you this feeling of being proud of me forever.

I love the way you treat me when I am feeling down. You can tell that I am sad just by looking in my eyes or of hearing my voice tone. And I love the way you try to cheer me up and you try to buy me the little things that I like just to see me smile again. I remember when I was feeling sad and you went to the mall and got me the cutest teddy bear, and it worked! I finally smiled!

And I remember when I was just a little girl and you went abroad, you asked me what I want for a gift and I said nothing? But you got me everything! including a white stuffed rabbit with a blue ribbon, because you knew I loved them. Mammy, I still have it! I always cherish everything that you say to me and give me.

Mammy, I'll never forget the things you did when I got sick for a week. You stayed with me all of the time and you never slept for a whole week! I begged you to go to your to relax but you couldn't until you saw me walk on my feet again. No one could ever do the things that you do for me.

I thank you mama for all the things you did. May Allah help me pay you back even a little of those things you did and do for me. Thank you mama for always being there for me and for believing in me. I hope I can be the good girl that you spent your life watching her grow and teaching her to be kind, loving, forgiving girl. I hope I can be like you.

Thank you Mama :)

I LOVE YOU

***************
http://song3.6arab.com/samy-yousef_ommy.ram

Posted by Faith :: 11:57 PM :: 2 comments

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Friday, March 18, 2005

Irony or Coincident?

Ironic is really controversial! :p It's interesting in fact.. I had mixed feeling while listening to it the first time..
She says :
An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day!

First reaction, would you laugh or cry for that old man?!
I personally felt bad for him and my sister was laughing! <<>It´s like rain on your wedding day <<< (Now that is pure bad luck!)
It´s a free ride when you´ve already paid <<< (This is dump!) It´s the good advice that you just didn´t take <<< (That's just being hardheaded!)

Now hear this, Poor Mr. Play-It-Safe! so much for his safety! :p
Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
Well isn´t this nice ..! <<< (Think he gotta play it safe next time! :p ) This is nice: A traffic jam when you´re already late << (That's not ironic, it's irritating! :s )
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break << (huh!)
It´s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife << This is sooo true in sooo many ways, this happens to me lots, but not with spoons only but with many things in everyday life :)
It´s meeting the man of my dreams..
And then meeting his beautiful wife! << (Ouch! ! isn't life ironic!? )

Moral of this song :D :
Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything´s okay and everything´s going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything´s gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face..

Now, the controversial part is that some people say that there is no sense of irony in this song but the evens are coincidents and pure bad luck only.. and this song is ironic for not really being ironic! heh, got it? :p, anyways, and others say - including me!- that it is ironic because there's a clash between what is expected and what really happens in the end, which is obviously the opposite of out expectaions! isn't this ironic?

Here's one last thing, isn't it ironic that i'm spending this valuable time analyzing this song while i can be doing something more interesting and productive?! : .. Well, well, well, that's the result of tedium and boredom!

Posted by Faith :: 4:17 AM :: 0 comments

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Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Story of A Girl

Hmmm, I haven't blogged for a while now.. I was just listening to this lovely song and thought i'd post it here because someone said that this song reminds them of me~! :p

This is the story of a girl
who cried a river and drowned the whole world
while she looks so sad in photographs
I absolutly love her when she smiles

How many days in a year
she woke up with hope, but she only found tears
and I can be so insincere
makin the promises never for real
as long as she stands there waitin
wearin the holes in the souls of her shoes
how many days disappear
you look in the mirror
so how do you choose your clothes
never wear as well the next day
and your hair never falls in quite the same way
you never seem to run out of things to say...

This is the story of girl
her pretty face she hid from the world
and while she looks so sad n lonely there,
I absolutly love her..
----

and while she looks so sad in photographs
i absolutly love her when she smiiiiiiilesss..

how cuuuute this is ;)

Posted by Faith :: 1:16 AM :: 0 comments

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Wednesday, March 09, 2005

When the Mighty Fall!

Dear Diary,

This is a true story:

He was one of the most respected, most admired people in his environment. He was respected for his manners and ethics that he showed. He was admired for his generosity to all those around him, and most of all, to his community. What we saw in him was the loving man to his family and friends, and espicially his children, and also the kindness to the strangers. He dedicated his life and health for his work. His friends devoted themselves for helping him keep his empire standing, to be the best in all times. They did not hesitate in giving him their lives because they knew what kind of a man he was. He was loved by all. He was an idol!

Everything was so quiet and peaceful. He and his family were happy for what he established so far, and they even hoped for more. His friends were with him all the way. He was at his top of his achievments when suddenly.. everything came to an end!

Yes, when he thought it was his ultimate, everything he had, everything he accomplised simply vanished! After scrutiny, it turned out to be that HE had some other plan in his mind! The same generous kind man was also rapacious! He infringed the trust that had been given to him by those who loved him and respected him. He cheated on every single person, including his "nation", his people, his family, and himself! He fell, and he fell hard! And when the MIGHTY falls, he takes with him the closest people around him. Those people who looked up to him went down with him as a price of their devotion and loyality.

He lived in castles, now he is living in the worst place on earth.
He was admired, now he is despised.
He was free, now he is confined!

***

Why? Weren't you happy with what you had? You had the whole world in your hands, everything you wished for was there down your feet, and you wanted more?! Look what "more" led you to. You broke the hearts of many people "your MIGHTY". Can you think of the way your children feel now? How about your wife, did you even think about her? And those who gave you their lives and been loyal to you, didn't you think that they'd fall when you do? You ruined their lives and you took them from their families!

I still cannot believe that all of this happened to you!

I hope Allah forgives you..
I hope this tragedy would go away..
I hope you are not what they said you were!
and I hope you gain your freedom someday..

I feel sorry for you.

Posted by Faith :: 2:52 PM :: 6 comments

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Friday, March 04, 2005

Blogs & Bloggers

Dear Diary,

Something I noticed with these blogs is that most bloggers who write their diaries and thoughts live abroad, away from their families and friends. That got me thinking that altough I live among my family and friends I still feel like a stranger that I turned to this blog.

Being a stranger doesn't mean that you must be living away from home, you can be a stranger even if you were surronded by your family and friends!

I think it's easier if you were a stranger living abroad than a stranger among your people. Because when you are living away from home, you'll have this hope of returning back to your beloved ones. But if you were already a stranger among your people, then where else would you hope to go to belong?!

Posted by Faith :: 6:43 PM :: 4 comments

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Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Sadness

Dear Diary,

Being sad does not mean dissatisfaction with life, destiny, or even God. To me it's just a natural reaction to whatever went wrong or something bad happening in my life. So it's fair to be sad for awhile and even cry. But what is wrong is indulging in sadness to the point that u just give up in life! To be honest "Dear Diary", I sometimes feel this way when I'm extremely sad and dissappinted. I try my best to overcome this feeling and I could barely pick myself up and get back on my feet again.

Sometimes I feel it's my right to have this feeling of sadness for as long as I wish because this pain inside is continuous! But then, i try to recover as fast as possible and try to smile just to go on with my life. Who knows "Diary", maybe i'd get used to smiling and happiness if i at least fake it every now and then!

I still have my FAITH, and i know that someday things are goin' to be alright.

Posted by Faith :: 3:09 PM :: 4 comments

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Tuesday, March 01, 2005

اعتذر


لا تـأثر . . مـن كلامي
و لا تضايق . . لاهتمامي
اعـتذر . . ما بيدي حيله
مـا قدر أني . . ما أسألك
أو . . في لحظه . أتجاهلك
اعـتذر . . ما بيدي حيله
تــــدري أنــــك سـاكـن نـبض الـوريد
و إن حــــبــــك بـاقـي . . بـقلبي أكـيد
و أني لك . . مثل السحابه
من تشوف . . الوجد ظامي
تمطر . . أشواق و قصيد
اعـتذر . . ما بيدي حيله
كـانت الصوره . . تعاتب
كـل صفحات . . الكتاب
و كانت آمالي . . الحزينه
تـشتكي . . ظـلم الغياب
و أنـت تـتلذذ . بـآلامي
و تـضـايق . لاهـتمامي
شـكثر . لـك ذكـريات
و شـكـثر لـي أمـنيات
تـــنـــتــظــرصــــوت الــوفـا
يـا حبيبي . . في وصالك
تـبتعد . . و بـكل طيبه
أحــسـب الـقـسـوه
ظـــــلالـــــك
اعـتذر مـا بـيدي حيله
و اعـتذر أيضا . . لقلبي
الــلــي حــبــك
و اعـتذر حـق الخطاوي
الـلي سارت بي . لدربك
و اعـتذر . . لأيام عمري
الــلــي خـانـتـه ـاالـسعاده .. أمـس قربك
و حـتـى و أنـا ابـتعد
مـــنــك أتــألــم
و اعــتــدر مــنـك
و أقــــــــــول
لا تـأثر . . مـن كلامي
و لا تضايق . . لاهتمامي
مـا بـقت بـاليد .. حيله
ما بقت باليد . . حيله
كلمات: صدى الحرمان

Posted by Faith :: 5:34 PM :: 4 comments

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Nobody Helps!

Why do people disappear when u need help? have u ever thought about that? when u r happy and everything is cool ur friends r there! but when u r down and feeling bad and ur whole world is falling apart u just won't find anyone there! i guess that's exactly when they get busy with their own lives! funny though, i mean we all need people to be around us and we need them the most in bad times cause there must be someone to pick us up when we're down and help us get back on our feet. But hell! where r they now?! *sigh*, in times such these, i give up my faith in people and just want to be alone even more!

I just heard this line from the movie Don't Say a Word, the girl was saying "everybody's watcing, but no one would help!". Why ? Why don't they try to help? I mean they can see that there's something wrong and me or u could use their help, but what happens? they just stand still and watch u fall! *sigh*


Posted by Faith :: 2:49 PM :: 4 comments

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